Loneliness

Loneliness is something that most people experience at some point in their lives. But for men, it can feel especially gnarly. Men feel the pressure to be strong, independent, and self-sufficient, making it harder to admit when we're feeling alone. We often feel like we're failing or that there's something wrong with us because we’re struggling with isolation. But the truth is, loneliness is a common human experience. And, importantly, it’s something we don’t have to face alone.

Loneliness is a widespread issue, especially among men. According to a 2020 study by the American Psychological Association, nearly half of men report feeling lonely, with rates of loneliness among men in their 20s and 30s being particularly high. Even though it might seem like everyone else has it together, many are quietly battling the same feelings of isolation and disconnection.

Loneliness is real and not just a fleeting emotion; it’s a deep feeling of disconnection, whether from other people or from God. For many men, the causes of loneliness are complex. It might stem from  issues in a relationship, the loss of a job, a move, or from an overwhelming sense of not measuring up. The pressure to be the provider, the protector, or the strong one can sometimes lead to suppressing our emotions and leaving us feeling lonely and disconnected.

The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV), “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.” God’s Word reassures us that what we face is not unique to us—there are others who understand, and God is faithful to walk through it with us. This is hope.

Jesus himself knows what it’s like to feel alone. When He was in the Garden of Gethsemane, preparing to face the cross, He felt the weight of abandonment and isolation. But He also knew that He was not ultimately alone because the Father was with Him. Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross is the ultimate proof of His love and commitment to us. He is the one who draws near when everyone else is far away.

John 15:13 (NIV) reminds us, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Jesus laid down His life for you. You are never truly alone when you are in relationship with Him.

Satan often uses loneliness as a tool to isolate us, to make us believe that we are alone and forgotten.  But John 10:10 (NIV) tells us, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Jesus came to bring life in abundance, not just in terms of earthly blessings but in connection with Him and others. The enemy wants us to believe that our loneliness is a permanent state, but the truth is, Jesus offers us something far better—life, community, and the hope of eternal connection with Him and His people.

The Bible has a lot to say about loneliness. God knows the deep pain of isolation, and He has given us His Word to help us navigate those tough seasons. Here are a few verses that speak directly to loneliness:

  • Psalm 34:18 (NIV): “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
  • Isaiah 41:10 (NIV): “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
  • Matthew 28:20 (NIV): “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
  • Psalm 23:4 (NIV):       “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

In these verses, God promises His presence in the midst of our loneliness. He is not distant, and He will not leave us alone. When we feel isolated, we can lean into His truth—that He is close to us and will never abandon us. Even in the darkest moments, we are not alone. At Bound for Glory are committed to walking through loneliness with you. Memorize some or all of those verses.

If you’re struggling with loneliness, there is hope, and there are practical steps you can take to break free from isolation. First and foremost, reach out to and trust that God is with you. Spend time in prayer, asking Him to fill the void that loneliness brings. Be honest with Him about your feelings—He already knows them, and He longs to comfort you.

Second, don’t isolate yourself from others. Even though it’s tough, reaching out to friends, joining a small group, or talking to someone you trust can make a huge difference. We were not meant to walk through life alone. As Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV) says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

Here are a few Christian-based resources that can help you in your journey:

  • Books:
    • "The New Man: Becoming the Man God Created You to Be" by Brian D. G. Hedges
    • "Man Enough: How Jesus Redefines Manhood" by Nate Pyle
    • "Wild at Heart" by John Eldridge (this book discusses how men can find purpose and adventure, and connect with God in a deeper way)
  • Music:
    • "Fear is a Liar" by Zach Williams
    • "Who You Say I Am" by Hillsong Worship
    • "Living Hope" by Phil Wickham

Loneliness is a real struggle, but it is not the end of the story. As men, we are called to live boldly, to engage with God, and to lean into relationships that bring us life. Even in our loneliness, God is with us, offering comfort, strength, and the hope of His presence. Jesus came to bring life, and life to the full (John 10:10). That includes freedom from loneliness.

Take heart! He has overcome the world   -John 16.33