Standing Strong in Marriage

Marriage is one of the most meaningful—and challenging—callings a man will ever step into. Many men carry frustration, disappointment, fear, or shame related to their marriage. Some feel like they are failing. Others feel alone, misunderstood, or worn down by conflict. If that describes you, hear this clearly: you are not alone, God has not given up on you or your marriage, in fact he wants to use your marriage in a bunch of ways.

Marriage is not easy. Almost half of marriages end in divorce. More than 6 out of ten couples find communication hard. Sex and related issues are common but rarely discussed. We often feel disconnected, emotionally separate, and like we are not on the same team. Saying marriage is hard is an understatement. These statistics are not meant to discourage you. They are meant to convince you that you are NOT ALONE!

The Bible presents marriage as important, purposeful, and worth fighting for and importantly not easy.

Sowing and Reaping is unavoidable- Many financial struggles are connected to past decisions. The Bible speaks honestly about the principle of sowing and reaping.

  • Galatians 6:7 (NIV): “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.”

This can be difficult to accept, especially when consequences feel heavy. But this truth is not meant to crush us—it is meant to empower us. While we cannot change yesterday’s decisions, we can change the seeds we plant today and tomorrow. New habits, better choices, accountability, and biblical stewardship can lead to a more peaceful and stable financial future.

Marriage: Gods’s First Human Relationship - Marriage was not humanity’s idea—it was God’s. Before governments, churches, or even families with children, God established marriage.

  • (Genesis 2:18, NIV) : “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”

God declared marriage “very good.” This tells us something important: marriage matters deeply to God, even when it feels broken or confusing to us.

Marriage is how God portrays the relationship between Jesus and the Church - Scripture goes even further. God uses marriage to illustrate the relationship between Jesus and the Church—a relationship defined by love, sacrifice, faithfulness, and redemption.

  • (Ephesians 5:25, NIV) : “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

That is a high calling. Jesus loves the Church not because it is perfect, but because it is His. In the same way, husbands are called to lead with sacrificial love, even when it costs them comfort, pride, and what they feel is fair.

Marriage is God’s Chosen way for us to Partner with him - Through marriage, God partners with humanity to bring life and order into the world.

  • (Genesis 1:28, NIV): “God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.’”

Marriage is one of the primary ways God works through His creation to multiply, nurture, and rule responsibly. When marriage is under attack, the ripple effects touch children, communities, and even our faith itself—which helps explain why marriage is such a common battlefield.

Marriage is an Attack Point - Because marriage is so significant, it is also a vulnerable place for spiritual attack.

  • (John 10:10a, NIV): “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.”

Satan works through division, resentment, isolation, sexual temptation, bitterness, and silence. Many men assume their struggles are personal failures, when in reality they are part of a larger spiritual conflict. Recognizing this does not remove responsibility—but it removes shame. You are not weak for struggling; you are human in a fallen world.

Marriage is a tool to make you look more like Jesus - One of the hardest—and most beautiful—truths about marriage is this: God often uses marriage to change us.

  • (Proverbs 27:17, NIV): “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

Marriage places us in close relationship with someone we love deeply, which exposes impatience, selfishness, pride, anger, and fear. This is not accidental. God uses marriage to help you learn to act more like Jesus—men who are humble, gentle, able to give forgiveness, and to persevere.

  • (Philippians 1:6, NIV): “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Hope and Encouragement  - If you are struggling, it does not mean you are a bad husband or a bad Christian. It means you are a man in need of grace, wisdom, and support. God’s love for you is not based on how well you are doing as a husband.

  • (Psalm 103:8, NIV): “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.”

God is patient. He delights in progress, not perfection. Even broken marriages are not beyond His reach.

  • (Matthew 19:26, NIV): “With God all things are possible.”

Need more help? Here are some more resources to help you build a marriage that God desires for you.

Books

  • Love & Respect – Emerson Eggerichs
  • Sacred Marriage – Gary Thomas
  • The Meaning of Marriage – Timothy & Kathy Keller

Websites & Ministries

Music (for reflection and worship)

  • Chris Tomlin – Good Good Father
  • Andrew Peterson – Is He Worthy?
  • Casting Crowns – Broken Together

A Final Word of Encouragement

God sees your effort. He sees your frustration. He sees your desire to love well—even when you fall short.

  • (Zephaniah 3:17, NIV) “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you.”

Your marriage matters. You matter. And God is still at work—both in your relationship and in your heart. Keep walking. Keep praying. Keep fighting for what God has called good.